Contributed by Alexis May Taylor (alias)
I am the victim of Domestic Violence. I am the victim of emotional, mental, physical, and sexual abuse. I am the victim over several years from several different guys (I will not call them men), and even a very unkind woman. I have recently really realized I am the victim of domestic violence.
I do not wish it on anyone. I never wished it on myself. But now I actually wouldn’t change it. I can’t tell you how much it has made me who I am and made me stronger. It actually just hit me today I want to do something more than just be a victim. I want to hopefully help others in it. I just have to figure out how. I do not see myself being a career woman, or going to school for it. So I am hoping to find a way to volunteer in a way somehow. Going to do some praying, contact some people, and hope to find a way to do something more with the experience I have had in this.
So I am going to define a little bit on how I have been effected by each form of abuse.
Physically: Most heard about, easiest to diagnose because there can be physical evidence. I suffered this minimally compared to what many have suffered. But there were a few times I was definitely scared for my life. But really I think anyone who suffers this abuse does emotionally and mentally as well.
Mentally: For me this is kind of separate from emotional. I see this as manipulation, maybe someone out to get you and destroy your life, make you feel worthless. I think this form of abuse can be scarring for life. And hard to diagnose because you must be inside a person’s head to see they have suffered this. And it is often very hard to even see that you are being abused this way. To this day I still realize new ways I had been abused this way. It could take a long time to get over this type of abuse. I think this type of abuse can hurt you in such a way to even feel suicidal, possibly.
Emotionally: I see this as being treated badly in being yelled at, called names, sworn at, cheated on, lied to, etc. Just thinking of these things brings tears to my eyes. They really really hurt. I think this kind of abuse is far more accepted than it should be, for so many reasons. People may think, well they aren’t hitting me. But this abuse is so so damaging too.
Sexually: This hit me harder than any others. Totally caught me off guard. Really really shook me. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to pick up the pieces after going through this, but I proved myself stronger than I even realized. I am still learning the effects of this. Anyone who abuses a woman, or even worse a child, in this way I feel should face the most serious consequences. The thought makes me sick to my stomach.
Abuse is horrible. And yet so beyond common. It is done to all ages of both male and female. It leaves huge scars. Some that people are never able to get over and it destroys their lives. I am so immensely grateful for all of the support I have had to be able to deal with my abuse, and slowly be able to heal from it. I know I still have a long ways to go, and may never fully heal. But I also know through my Savior just how far I have come and will be able to continue to heal. I pray for those out there that are, and have suffered through abuse, to also be able to finding this healing from our loving Heavenly Father through his son Jesus Christ.