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  1. misssrobin
    misssrobin August 15, 2014 at 11:19 pm |

    Thank you for your words and for sharing your story. It matters so much that we speak about these things.

    I spent so many years living much as you describe. Things finally started to change when a friend took the time to become a safe person for me to talk to. And then a bishop (who was professionally a therapist) listened to a prompting and called me in to talk to him. Many years of therapy for both me and my husband later, things are much better. Even still, there is still that “on guard” feeling. I don’t know if that will ever go away. My husband’s outbursts are much less frequent and of shorter duration and almost always due to him missing his medication (which was a piece of the puzzle for us).

    I hear what you’re saying. I want to validate that what you’re saying is real and so destructive. God does not want us to be treated this way.

    I speak openly about our history. I’ve written about it on my blog (the darker stuff is on my The Difficult Things blog because not everyone wanted to know about it). I look for the signs in other women and reach out to them.

    But the most important thing I do is openly tell the truth about what I’ve experienced, what it’s done to me, all the therapy I’ve had, how I’m still struggling, and how wonderful things can still be. I speak so that others will understand that what is happening to them is really as bad as they think it is. I speak so others will know there is someone safe that they can talk to (and I often have women confide in me things they’ve never confided in anyone and am then able to help them find direction). And I speak so that all I experienced is used for good and has meaning — to help others heal.

    Because it matters!

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